Cinco De Mayo

  It was a long time coming.  I was an addict.  I was married to it, in a sense.  It was my comforter.  My security.  I couldn’t eat certain things without inviting it along for the ride.  It consumed me.

Too much you think?  What am I talking about?  Pepsi.  That refreshing, addicting, wonderfully tasting drink that held me captive for years.  Too much again?  Seriously.  For those of you that love soda, pop, Pepsi, insert drink of choice that you can’t walk away from…its a definite love affair.  And one that has to go.  Or had to go for me.  I had tried for years, my doctors had told me ages ago to quit, my friends who were healthy talked and talked about it not having any nutritional value…ummm…yeah…THATS why I drank…cause I was looking for good nutrition!!  Seriously…really?  Yeah…I was pretty clear this divine substance was nowhere close to being good for me.  It wasnt and I knew it and I couldn’t stop.  How much did I drink you ask?  Really ready for this?  At least a six pack…a day…if not more.  I would stop at the AM/PM for gas…HAD to get a soda.  I would get up in the middle of watching a movie or TV show and get one from the fridge…and if I didn’t have one in the fridge, I would go to 7-11 and get one…no matter what time it was.  Yeah…I was hooked.

My attempts at quitting weren’t any better.  I would stop drinking it for a week or two days…if I’m being honest.  I even went 6 months once…then found myself somewhere, eating something that I had always eaten while drinking a Pepsi and there I was…unable to eat or move on without it.  So I ordered one with the idea that I would have “just one” .  RIGGGHHHTTTT….but the time I had gone to bed that night, I had stopped on my way home and got a fountain drink and a Pepsi for the fridge.  Pathetic, you say?  Sad?  Relating anyone?  I know you are out there…reading this…because I read someone elses thoughts…and it got me thinking about restoration….It started with a trip to the dentist…

SO I went to the dentist and he says to me…”Do you drink a lot of pop?”  Let’s just stop right here for a moment.  I really don’t care of the term “pop”.  Its something I do with my bubble gum…or on the fourth of July with the little ditties that come in a box…but its not my Pepsi…noway…its soda for me…How SILLY is this?!??!?!  Seriously.  Anyway…back to the dentist…So he asks me and I tell him yes and he says “I can tell, it’s affecting the enamel on your teeth.” Whoa.  Not good.  I have never had anything wrong with my teeth ever….not even a cavity and this new dentist could tell I had been drinking soda??  See..it was my secret…or so I thought.  Those around me can tell you of my struggle and love affair with Pepsi…and it wasnt such a secret…as is the case with most addictions.  I never went back to that dentist.

But I couldn’t get it out of my head.  If it was tearing the enamel off my teeth, what else was it doing to me?  And why did I need it so much…or why did I think I needed it so much?  Hmmm…tough questions to ask an addict…even tough to ask the girl in the mirror.  She would have to look deeper to answer such questions and that would require looking past the mirror and into the heart…hmm…wow…was I ready for that challenge?  *nod*  I was…so I did.  Some of the questions I had to answer was…

Why was it soda I reached for when my circumstances got tough, emotional or stretched me spiritually? 

Did the soda mixed well with the “new wine” that God was trying to download into my spirit?

Was this soda affecting my life to a point that it could aid in actually shortening my life?

See…Im a diabetic.  Yeah…2.5 years ago…two days before my wedding….I got sick…well…had been for awhile but was to the point I had to go to the doc before I got married.  They called on our honeymoon and that sparked the next six months of doctors appts, surgery, losing my hair, etc…I was sicker than I knew…and Pepsi was helping me end my life…slowly.  There really is no nutritional value…but to a diabetic, Pepsi is lethal…really…the sugar, caffeine…its not good. My blood sugar was out of control and every time I drank a soda, I would go to sleep for hours…no really…HOURS…I could sleep for 10 to 15 to 17 hours….and Pepsi was like a coma-inducing elixir that I paired with the wrong food choices and was more than happy to continue. Diet soda, you say? Not on your life.  It was all or nothing.  So I continued….

Til God said…”You know you are worth more than this, right?”  Did I?  Did I really know that?  Yes, I did. 

So I started the work.  I didn’t stop drinking the soda right then…but I started the heart work.  The Whys, the surrender process…and on May 5th, 2009…I stopped drinking Pepsi.  My Cinco De Mayo…Im goofy…I had to have a day that I remembered…at least for now…to celebrate the milestones…1 day, 1 week, 1 month, 6 weeks, 6 months.  Yesterday it was 8th months since I’ve had even a taste of Pepsi.  I’m better for it…so will you.  Im bigger than soda and I have a God that is bigger than an 12oz can or 32 oz Big Gulp. 

Will you think about it?  Will you start your dialogue with God about it?   Maybe it’s not Pepsi…you know what it is. 

See…The scriptures say that I am the apple of His eye…if thats the case, then He is more than about my business…He is the author…and its time to talk about the next chapter of your walk…

I was recently in South Africa and had an orange soda as the water wasnt good/fitting to drink and I took two drinks and gave it to someone I was traveling with…I didnt want it…I wanted something wet…I had a couple swallows and that was enough…I didnt think about having more or continue to drink it.  See…I have been transformed by the renewing of my heart and mind about the things that are true about me.  And the only things that are true about me are the things HE says are true.  Dont get it twisted, sisters…Im a work in progress…*smile*…and clearly have not arrived…Thank God.

I look forward to celebrating your “Cinco De Mayo” with you…no matter the substance.

I’d love to hear your thoughts…

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6 thoughts on “Cinco De Mayo

  1. Having been witness to this addiction for more years than I care to admit to-I am so humbled and so proud of you. This is truly a change of life for you. Keep sweeping Bren!

  2. Brenda, this is awesome! For me, it’s diet coke (but don’t let the “diet” fool you – the fake sugar is very bad too)! Interesting thing…I’m cutting back without even realizing it. Yes, I start sipping it early a.m. but I don’t even have a 20 oz. bottle finished at the end of my work day! Too engaged in what I am doing! May the Lord reveal one addiction at a time and then give us strength to be obedient…You rock!

  3. The whole time I was reading this I couldn’t help but smile and feel excited for you! I’m sure you have been feeling better physically and will find that you lose weight without trying just by no longer consuming all that pop 🙂

    And oh….hmm….also couldn’t help but think about my love affair with coffee……lol

  4. Brenda, I love reading your writing! I love chocolate and cake. Thank God there are no Magnum Death By Chocolate bars here. It is inspiring to read about your journey and having finished mine, it also reminds me to stay on task.

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